spare the rod, not the discipline.

these past two days have been those kinds of days that when you sit down to write, all the energy you had intended to use for writing goes right out the window. 

I have been in training for the past two days for a new program called Safe Care. It’s a program that we will be implementing to help parents better interact with their kids and help them make sure their house is suitable for children. The program teaches a parent how to interact with his/her child while creating a stable environment for that child through positive reinforcement. Safe care takes two or three activities that present the most problems and uses those activities as a teaching medium for the parent to learn how to engage their child and help their child behave.

This is good, scientifically proven, parenting curriculum that i cant wait to drop on some parents! 

I see a couple of things with parenting that have shown how our culture has changed. 

1. I dont think, and neither  do alot of other people, that whipping a kid for being bad is as effective as constantly applying positive feedback for good behavior. When you continue to acknowledge good behavior in a child, he will naturally want to do the things that get him/ her the most attention. If acting out gets attention, then naturally the kid will act out, but if we shift the focus to the good behavior, then said kid will act in good behavior for the reward. 

2. I think alot of people dont want to hit their kids, but dont know what it means to discipline because they dont understand being proactive as a parent. This is dangerous because children need discipline. Passivity with regards to parenting will lead to a kid that will consistently test boundaries and push the envelope. By not acknowledging minut bad behavior and praising for good behavior, you will raise up a child that wants to do good. 

I say all of this with the understanding that there will always be times to have to acknowledge bad behavior. But my question would be, ” are you going to discipline for now, or for the future?” You must take the time to set up consequences and rewards and then be as consistent as possible. 


*no one can refute the model of experience. with that being said, please know that i know nothing about raising a child personally. I guess you can say that i’m working on being a “trained parent.” Please do not think that i am alluding to the idea that i have it all figured out. i have an opinion and  theories and a whole bunch of data. i’ll let you know when the rubber meets the road.*